Hi Waiting4, Thanks so much for your reply. You asked a couple of questions that were eye-openers for me. I've really only thought about whether John wants to be in the relationship. Perhaps I need to do some soul-searching about what I really want from the relationship. I know I'm certainly not feeling like putting the amount of energy into my relationship with John that I put into my marriage.

I have thought of counseling, especially couples counseling. I think it would be very helpful because a huge issue in the relationship is that we often miscommunicate. Unfortunately, cost is what prevents seeking counseling. It's easy to find free support groups where I live, but couples counseling is expensive. It's too bad that David, years ago, refused marital counseling because we had free therapy from the Veteran's Admin (and the therapy was excellent, at least for me). With John, I don't know of any low-cost or free counseling. BUT...I will do some checking around.