This is my first time on here and not quite sure how to start. I had a baby 8 months ago. Ever since then I've been really depressed and anxious and just not myself. I have a long history of depression and have struggled with it on and off for years. This time I am thinking of divorce. my husband and I are very different and it's been hard on and off since we were married. Now we fight all the time. I don't think I'm with the right man and can't get past that sinking feeling. I can't leave him though because it scares me and I feel like I've lost myself. Because of my depression I've lost or feel like I've lost many friends..I overwhelmed my best friend and she needs a break from me. I can't get over that. My Mom said she needs a break from my depression as well. I have never felt so alone. I know I'm depressed because I feel the dark cloud around me. I have negative self talk and it's because I believe what my husband tells me and puts me down all of the time. I'm quite sick of it. I just want to hurt him back even though it goes against who I want to be. Anybody out there ever feel like you can't get out of your depression or feel lost then feel guilty for it?