|
i know how you feel. a few years back i had to quit for a job and honestly it sucked, but it was worth it for the job. after being stoned 24/7 for about 3 years straight sobriety was jarring. i never realized how anxious and paranoid i was until then. i needed it just to leave the house and deal with the public, even just doing laundry and going grocery shopping. but in the end i needed the job and things got better over time. honestly though that lasted about 3 months in to the new job and i gave up being sober. i already got in and i wasn't worried about getting popped with a random, just figured it would be a wake up call for me if it happened, though it never did. now i'm in the same situation because i moved across the country and i need to find a new job. haven't smoked since 5/23 but it was easier this time around, i didn't get back in to it as heavy as before. sadly in my line of work i doubt it will ever be allowed for me. even in the legal states your place of work has the right to disqualify you since it's still federally illegal.
anyway i actually want to thank you for posting this. this is something i've wanted to get out of my head and it's been weighing on my mind for a while now. in the end you can get through it, it doesn't have to be forever. i'll be right there with you.
|