some say assertiveness is a learnable skill My husband is very good at it ,saying no without offering explanation and ,amazingly, nobody even asks for one,I suppose over the years people realize that some things are just the way the are.I've tried to say no,am trying,but as you said On2,it is followed by apologies and explanations,which eventually make me feel and look weak,indecisive .One has to learn to own it,whatever response it will be,be ready for people to be surprised and even upset ,if politely rejected,just because they are so used to having their way.I recently came to the revelation and understanding,that by being agreeable and extraflexible for the sake of keeping the peace,I lost the respect of the same people,on the verge of loosing my own identity .It's a daily reminder to be firm and not to get into extensive explanations,because I'm worth it and my decision is worth being respected,even if it is as minor as disagreeing with choice of food.Take care(On2)