Sister Rags, do you have any medical insurance? Under the Affordable Care Act, insurance is now required to cover mental health services. You do sound depressed -- with good cause, I might add -- and therapy could help. You might have to get a referral from your primary care provider.

If that's not an option, then please try some of those free support groups in your area. You may find ways to deal with your own feelings and actions, as well as some ideas on how to deal with the unpleasantness in your home life.

I don't know the answer to your situation, but it does sound highly stressful on a daily basis. Anyone ... anyone at all ... could spiral into depression under such conditions. Free support and self-help groups can actually save people's lives. You may have to try several different groups to find a compatible bunch of people. That's normal. I live in a small town and we have about 60 different free self-help meetings every week, maybe because we don't have a lot of professional help available. The groups really can work. Good luck.