hey everyone, thanks for your concerns.
i am really touched. sorry for not going online for so long.
I took some pay med and went to slp. my head is usually more clear in the day than night. My parents woke me up this morning to pack for the trip. My dad said just enjoy and have fun... My head is still running wild. I am overseas. I know it's bad but getting stimulated outside kinda distract me from the demons in my head. At least they don't occupy as much space. Only when night comes and i get back to hotel.

Curiosity, since you're working in this field, am i right that a PRN is injection taken when needed? I wish i have one. But my doc doesn't prescribe it. Never. I hav no idea why. Only in rare occasions when I am restrained in ward I get injection. Other times when restrained I only get slping pills, since it's night time.

I need to stay as stable as possible during these 6 days before returning home. Then I can consider inpatient. I need to meet up with parents' and my friends here. I don't wana face anyone. The psychotic thoughts are still strong. I feel there are surveillance cameras in my room.