hvert, you are correct. John has demonstrated for years that most of the time, he is a mean jerk. And I keep looking at the past and wondering when that fun, responsible John is going to reappear. I don't understand where that person went.

No, he definitely will not leave if I ask him to. Absolutely not. Yes, I would need to go through the eviction process - but, in reality, I cannot even evict him. The landlord would need to do that. What a mess that would be... And yes, John knows that a move is likely in the near future. The house we live in has some major plumbing issues and I'm quite sure the landlord is going to be coming in here and renovating...not something I want going on while I'm living here.

Yes, I've read about the nanny. I don't know how someone stays in a home in which they are clearly not wanted, as she has done. I would be an anxious mess.

Also, yes - there is a univ that has an excellent psychology department and trains therapists. I had forgotten about that option - thanks for reminding me.

Thank you very much for your thoughtful comments. I really appreciate them.