Laying dormant
All these feelings I tried to keep down.
Suppression, denial, self contempt.
Drugs and alcohol.
But now that I’ve been sobor for over a year . . . . . . . .
I have this . . . anger and contempt for the world.
Is this the result perhaps of my body readjusting to not using chemicals to self medicate?
I can’t say for sure yet.
But over the past few months I’ve become increasingly contemptuous for modern society and feel rather ‘un-American.’
I have too many qualms with the government and the political system- the way things are run, all the corruption and everything negative going on in the nation and the world at large- I can’t help but be embittered.

Here’s a writing I wrote a few weeks ago:
Silent rebellion

I rebel against the masses,
Yet you may not notice, for there are no blatant signs.
so much as the lack there of.
No need for makeup,
I rebel against the norm-
For the ‘norm’ is what keeps all the sheeple asleep,
Nobody does anything, no one stands up for what they believe.
Everyone’s so apathetic they think someone else will do it.
Well, it starts with one, and if it must start with me, then so be it!
~~~
So yeah, I feel like I’m not long for this world.
Perhaps I’m losing my mind? If it weren’t for my bf . . . I think I’d feel completely lost.
I just sorta feel like, ‘What comes next?’ You know? What do I do with all these feelings?
I want to be an activist of sorts,
Do something with these thoughts and feelings, help change the world for the better but
Am feeling apathetic about it all at the same time. Grr, perhaps I’m bipolar . . .?
P.S. I made my own 'flags' and put them up to show my support for the Fourth of July today! Happy Fourth to everyone, for what it's worth!