Hi TJ, you are NOT sabotaging your recovery!!! Recovery can be a rocky road with "bumps" here and there along the way. "Bumps" you can't avoid. But the part of you that comes up that wants to get better (which keeps coming up!!) shows that you are on that road.
And that takes so much strength, so really don't make it harder than it already is (and I know it's hard) by putting too high expectations on yourself..........by "beating" yourself up about the tough times. Just make sure you carry on being open when you're having tough times, and reaching for help/support with them.
And if you need to go back to hospital at any time this weekend, remember that is not a failing, that is just one more step on the road to recovery.
Please just stay safe, and whatever is best for you.
And again, REAL credit for handing over the blade!!!!! That was impressive!!!!!

Alison