Hi rt... with a diagnosis you can begin to get help and relief for your depression.

Why do you worry about being on medication the rest of your life... if it helps you? With the right meds you don't feel drugged up or artificially happy, you just feel normal again. If a particular drug has side effects that bother you, you can work with your doc on alternatives. That is something to worry about after you get better.

From the stories you have told about your dad it doesn't seem like the problem has anything to do with you. He's got issues. You haven't done anything wrong and likely nothing you could have done would have changed the way he is.

If he is not going to change at least you can accept treatment so that you can enjoy your own life. Don't let his misery tie you down.

Sorry I don't have any messenger software so I can't chat... but take care and keep hope.

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--http://www.idexter.com