i had a dream aboutmy abuser last night. first time for ages. he was trying to touch me again and my mum was drunk and didn't stop him.

it was a very vivid dream and i was very distressed during and after. i had flashing lights when i woke up probably due to high bp/migraine.

i feel shaky and triggered and really crap. cant believe the dream i had, as i have'nt had one for ages.
his face was so menacing and he had no regrets or compassion, in the dream i was the age i am now and it really upset me.in my dream i was really screaming at abuser and completely lostitand no one came to help.

the only thing i can put it down to is the fact that i've been posting poems about him and getting stuff out of my head.

i just had to vent i'm sorry. dreams effect me quite badly and i have to go to my mums today for dinner, i'm dreading it cos i'm also meeting her new b/f. i just dont want to go.

my anxiety is through the roof again and i have nothing to take for it.

i just keep seeing his face.

jin