this hit home for me a little.

my father is an alcoholic (recovering). there would be nights when i would wake up and my parents would be fightening. he'd hit her. she denys it now. everytime they separated, she'd take him back. she bailed him out of jail the last time. he, also, has a way of making you feel as though no matter the situation, it is your fault. he gave me a bloody nose once, and i believed it was my fault.

i do wish my mom would have left him. his alcoholism affected my life in so many ways.

my sister is going through the same thing. her husband is a crackhead/alcoholic

the thing you should think about is if the safety of you and your children are threatened. if they are, you have no choice but to get out. dont listen to the thoughts that it is your fault. find a way to leave and do it. if you are worrying about your husband in anyway, find him help. if he refuses, at least you tried.

that may be extreme, but i wish my parents would have divorced when i was younger. i lost a lot of myself because of those nights.

I wish i could be of some real help. Hang in there and do what is right for you and your children. no one deserves that life.