Hello KaceFace, you are my absolute 100% very first person here who I am replying to.

I can't offer any advice that is better than the really excellent things said above, but I submit to you this; you feel this way, regardless of whether it's right or wrong, so hell yes, you have a right to complain. If you had broken your foot you'd be expected to cry, so if your feeling are hurt, it's perfectly reasonable to voice your anguish.

I don't know how to fix the self-hate; that's why I came here. I will say this, just to give you something to get a little perspective; despite how you think and despite what you believe your motivations are, look at the actual physical acts you do in your life. Did you hold a door for someone? Did you feel sympathy for someone who is hurt? Did you do a good job at work or school? In essence, did you do anything at all that others received in a positive way?

If you did, you did something worthy. That means your existence is a positive influence on life. In know, when I do something positive, I get all in my head and say I just did that to look good or to get praise, but that's the negative feedback I give myself and I'll bet a dollar you do it too. Just imagine this, though; kicking the dark S.O.B. in the goolies by remembering that no matter what motivation you thought you had, you STILL did a positive thing, so nyah! You were a good influence despite your self-hate.

I really hope things turn around for you, Kace. Us "haytas" got to stick together.