It has been 4 years and 4 months and most days l have sui thoughts. l try to pretend they are not there to others, that fake smile and laugh that makes them suspect nothing. But it is actually really tiring having these images / thoughts. It is like they trip me up when l forget about them for a while. It is hard not sharing them also, it is not something you can talk to family and friends about and actually it stops me wanting to see anyone.

l know l have to probably accept they are now part of me and they will always be there, but today that feels really hard to do.

How do others deal with it and the feelings of having to endure a life that seems so pointless?