I miss that electric feeling too, which is dampened down by meds. But stopping them is so risky. Did you stop cold or did you gradually reduce? The Icarus Project has a book about harm reduction for stopping psych meds, so it might be worth checking that out. But keep an open mind that you may need to go back on meds if you destablize. It sounds like things are already intense, but i don't know what your episodes are like, but i'm guessing it could get worse. I totally relate to wanting to stop meds, i want that too, but for me right now i think it would be a bad idea. Only you know what's right for you. But i think if you stay off meds you should try to put some supports in place, like people you trust who can let you know if you are not ok, and give them instructions for how you want them to respond. And try for the basics, like regular eating and sleeping. It sounds like you are doing this without medical supervision, which is risky, so please be careful. And keep posting to let us know how you are doing.