Quote:
Originally Posted by Rayne Selene
He needs to be more attentive, and I need to be more assertive...I think. I'm not super experienced in long term relationships. I'm just hoping it sticks, that things don't just revert back to the way they were. Because I'm not an on-call girlfriend, in a relationship when he needs me to be. You know what I mean?
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Maybe what needs to happen is that you consider your bf's needs too, afterall a relationship involves 2 people and this last part I quoted screams me me me...
Giving him some space to sort through his shyt is called patience and consideration, not an "on call gf". Monopolizing time and energy he doesn't really have available is a huge contributer to these uneccessary arguments.
Taking a step back and giving him breathing room isn't the same as sitting on the sidelines.
Relationships succeed because BOTH parties are willing to make it work. He's agreed to be more attentive even though he's stressed out to the max, but what have you agreed to? To keep him in line by being more assertive? Maybe you should've agreed to be less demanding... idk.
Yeeah, I think you 2 should redo that talk you had. Before he throws more "you're better of without me" speeches in your direction.
On the other hand, if I'm completely off base and your bf has a history of consistantly ignoring your existance general. Well then maybe being assertive won't help if it hasn't helped in the past 4 years... Maybe therapy is the way to go.