I've had good luck focusing on what I need to do to improve things. I can complain about the way my boyfriend acts, but the only thing I can change is the way I act. I'm no saint, either. When I start to clear up some of my annoying habits, I find he is more likely to treat me the way I want to be treated.

He's told you that he doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about his situations because of your response. Maybe if you were able to change that, it would help relieve some of the stress, which would make things more relaxing when you are together? "What's that quote, be the change you want to see in the world?"

It sounds like the relationship is going to turn into a huge source of stress if it hasn't already. If he really is facing a lot of difficult situations, maybe you could cut him some slack and just do what you can to help instead of adding onto his problems. You could set yourself a sort of deadline, focus on reducing the stressors in both your lives for 2 weeks or a month and see what happens.