Along with the good suggestions above....I would move to a place that was as far away from him as you can get & still share the kids according to the court ruling.....or go to the court with the proof that you have of him giving excuses not to take the kids & get sole custody & leave the state.

I moved 2100 miles away from my stbxh.....& I demand that every communication is only in writing....text or email or written letter. I left 7 years ago & because of IRS issues, the divorce was almost impossible until that was over.

He doesn't have to know where you live even if you do share custody of the kids....you can meet at a neutral place.....or you can have someone else deliver the kids & pick them up......he doesn't have to know a think about your life.....& you can have an alias if you need just to throw him off your track.

Hopefully the domestic abuse people can give you some more detailed ways of handling your situation.....but to start with, making yourself invisible to him is important.....you are divorced....you life is nothing that he needs to know anything about.....& if he uses the kids to get information....that also can be taken to court.

Wouldn't mess with a jerk like that......you need to gain back yourself & take control of your life after all that abuse.....hope you have a T who is working with you on self-esteem issues & ways to take care of yourself.

Know it's a difficult situation to get out of especially with the kids keeping the connection there.....but there has to be an end put to the crap that he's doing.....& the only one who can really stop it is you by no longer tolerating it & doing what you can to remove yourself to a safe place where he can no longer get to you.....with some help & good support...you can get there & so can your kids.....find safety & peace