I am in love with a musician. A "real" musician, for those laughing under their breath . He had a crack addiction many years ago. Is now dealing with (and getting help for) a sex addiction. Ive got a whole list of problems, myself, half of which I can't even begin to illustrate. Who in their right minds would want to spend their lives with either of us, I don't know. But together, well, we're "two peas in a pod" and are amazing together (even though **** has hit the fan recently, we are trying to rekindle and are "in it for marriage" as we say). I realize I have painted an unattractive picture of us as individuals but we're so much deeper than our problems that we are consistently seeking help for. I would love more than anything to live out our dream together; living in the woods in a nice cabin, meditating, and composing music. He wants it, I want it, nature wants it (silly as that may sound; please don't ask me to explain). I am hell bent on keeping optimism alive.

Who ever reads this, I intended it as being a rant and for people to connect who have anything similar going on...I guess it sort of ended up being a bit of a public journal entry. Therapeutic to say the least.