I miss my t so much right now. this is the most difficult termination I think I've ever had... I can't stop crying, and we are almost at a week since we said goodbye.
I figured out tonight that she was the first person to ever tell me she'd work to keep me safe. It's something I know I had always wished I'd hear from someone, and have them follow through. But she was the first person to ever say it to me, and it meant the world not only at the time, but still. It's stupid because I'm an adult, and she was just my t, but she addressed the little girl in me that never feels safe... and she felt safe with this t. and it sucks so much that I contributed at least in part to her burn-out... and that I won't ever see her again. so the little kid is out again and crying her eyes out coz it doesn't feel safe anymore. we'll have to learn to trust someone else, and it will have to be soon because this month really sucks for everything. and we so don't want to be alone right now, but we very much are... all the emotional flashbacks are hitting hard, and there's no one to call. ...