... I keep having to say I am sorry to a friend I hurt when I was freaking out. I am posting this here so that I don't bother my friend with my rubbish. My mother never said she was sorry for her total rejection of me ... oh shut up you stupid bear and go to sleep My mother so sweetly said to me "I am fed up to my back teeth with you" and many other cutting comments of the sort I am sure many of you are familiar with (I am nothing special) and I was never allowed to stay at the parental home when I had nowhere to live. As the whole family agreed with her assessment of me I sometimes wonder if I really was/am this unloveable, unendearing ... this is when I feel like removing the "badness" inside me in any way possible. My therapist said that my anxiety was destructive to the therapy, and that he felt very indifferent to me (sorry if I posted any of that before) I have never worked out why he was so negative towards me, but sometimes I come close. I am aware that this message is all over the place, like I feel at the moment and I will probably regret posting this later ...

I have been sitting with this message for more than 10 minutes now, debating whether to send it. Is it "appropriate" for a "moderator" (no dig at anyone intended) Well, as I have been labelled "avoidant" amongst other things, I will hit continue

Take better care than I do of me,
Fuzzy