Existential therapy was the cornerstone in developing who I am. Yes, I still have work to do, but in my 20s I did a lot of existential work.

I began to look at life through my own eyes. I examined my own belief system—where my beliefs originated, why I believed them…did they work for me? I had naturally adopted the belief system of the adults in my life and from the culture around me (not such a good thing when you come from a dysfunctional home). When I took a look at what I believed and why, I decided that some of my beliefs did not work for me. Furthermore, I had the option to build my own belief system instead of operating under one forced upon me by society. What amazing freedom this gave me. I started to engage in therapy and life as an individual being. Nietzsche calls this distinguishing yourself from “the herd.” Yes, this means in many ways you realize that you are alone because you are no longer blindly doing and believing what everybody else around you is believing and doing. It gives you an amazing sense of freedom to make choices about your own life. Of course, with that freedom also comes the complete responsibility for all your actions.

The therapy I did was focused in the “here and now.” (I am not sure how existential this part of the therapy was) We carefully examined my personal experience and feelings and how they affected me “in the moment.” I did not dwell on the actual events of the past—I examined the events in the way I experienced them in the moment. This helped me let go of the chains of the past. This helped me engage with people and life in a whole new way.

Wow, I wish I could find a good existential therapist. What an opportunity. Of course, existential therapy is not for everyone. And, my experience may be much different than yours. Plus, I would have to say, I ran into some very strange people when engaging in this work—I really had to sort out who I wanted to work with—it seemed like some took it to the extreme. Good luck.