Hello guys,

First thanks for your support, i couldn't reply as my girlfriend monitors me and whatever i do...

I feel the need to vent so i do apologize in advance - and i apologize even if anything i write doesn't make sense forgive me.

Some weeks ago i noticed a notable difference in the behaviour in my girlfriend, we were always calling each other after she finished her work and before she went to her work and suddenly this stopped and she was calling me 2 hours or even 3 hours after, this raised concerns to myself.

I should say that i am an overly nice person, i never put any limits to my girlfriends and i always hope that they RESPECT me and the relationship. I believe that a relationship has three core values: Honesty, Trust, Respect.

This difference on her behaviour started the day after she wanted to find out if her ex-boyfriend still leaves in his old house.

At some stage, one of the nights she delayed to call after she left work i did a small research and caught her car coming from a different direction to my house and not from her work, this raised suspicions. I hate being disrespected so i called up one of my friends (which is a psychologist) and we agreed that she would monitor my girlfriend a bit as i wanted to find out if my girlfriend and my friend wanted to protect me was just doing whatever she is doing for fun (yes my girlfriend has major depression, she has borderline personality disorder aswell though she is not aware of this and refuses anything) [i was severely abused in my childhood and my friend wanted to avoid more abuse] .

Last Saturday, end of June, she had a hens night. She had a hens night where my girlfriend emotionally made me feel very bad. So myself and my friend monitored her for the full duration of the hens night - from around 9pm until around 5am - all was cool nothing really happened.

Yesterday she had a wedding, however my girlfriend said after that she would go "somewhere" - when asked where she refused to answer. So myself and my friend again went onto another mission, from around 10:30pm until around 4am. THERE AND THEN we found out something that neither of us could believe, she went to the wedding THEN she went to a club/bar.

She got a drunk and she was flirting with guys, she was cheering with guys - and many more things of which i will not mention but you can all understand what this many more things are... I feel disgraced and disrespected. My friend told at some stage that she couldn't handle seeing what was happening and she said that i need to go in and confront her there in the public, i couldn't do this though i know i should have done this.

Anyway i chose another way, i sent her a message and asked her: "who is the bar man there", she answered that she didn't know and she asked why do i ask after around 30 minutes. I answered that i asked because the bar man is a brother of a friend of mine [this wasn't true but i needed to stress her etc]. I told her, does the barman have a beard? she said yes. I said ok its him probably, cool i told her. She asked me: is he single and at that time i answered her i do not know if he is or not, i'll ask him tomorrow i told her.

AFTER that conversation around 10 minutes herself and her friends all left this club/bar. I went back home as she was going to come home supposedly. She came home, she didn't come upstairs she left directly for her house. She called me, she was furious, she was drunk and this was noticeable, and she said "you destroyed my night", she then said " i do not want to talk to you today" and she hung up.

Anyway this is the end of the relationship, there is no other chance - already i gave her god knows how many chances. There comes a point where enough is enough.

Anyway this is just a rant, i needed to go get things out of me as psychologically i am not well.

I woke up after a saw a dream, the only thing i remember is that the dream ended with my girlfriend driving her car and parking it somewhere as i could her the noise the parking sensor does.