Is this odd. Like if I have a son I feel like idk if I'd be a good role model. I feel like I'm not really male in that sense. I have always been more comfortable with girl friends than boy friends. I used to align quite well with straight females basically. As a child for one my mom always wanted me to be a girl. Like you'd have thought I was a girl 10 and under. I did things socially generals female children did. Only thing I didn't do was wear dresses. I was much of the time confused for being a girl. I didn't really mind or care until I got teased for it. 11-15 all my friends were all straight ultra feminine girls. I socially was considered just a feminine gay boy back then. I liked longer hair and make up get my nails done nice boots etc. I socialize a lot like females did seemingly but it's all I ever really knew. I kept to myself mostly most of my friends are from elementary school. I kept my friends close long term. I had one guy friend but he was just an acquaintance until I was an older teen. I was always more comfortable with girls. I felt like that's what I was but I never really was uncomfortable about going into puberty. It's always been hard to connect with guys in any other way. I felt like they were so foreign. My relationships were always quick. But I've always felt alien among other guys. I was attracted to guys sexually but actually in the same sense my gfs were. I never saw the relationships with guys as a same sex relationship. I did sorta with women not like in a bad way or anything. I was always bisexual just like my perception is weird. I always saw myself more like my gfs only with a different body but mentally the same thing. My present gf I have had a 5 year relationship not dating and most of it I always saw my attraction and romantic feelings as lesbian not straight. I have never really identified as male. I don't really like being called a man. Maybe I just need to grow up? I mean he was never the worst thing to be called. I like prefer the name Naomi than my real name and female pronouns I would prefer to be seen as socially a woman like I feel more comfortable day to day. In relationships I was always the "girl" even in "straight" relationships. I would even online say I was female which sucked because I developed a relationship with a guy who thought I was girl. We met up. I decided to try to crossdress. It worked that time but I felt extremely weird. I don't like female clothing or like a female body shape. The idea of having one. I like being skinny. Being tall. I like having a penis. But it's just a part of me. I don't really see why my mind being one gender would make me have to change my body. My girlfriend and I are expecting our first son or daughter. I don't really like this. I mean I want my baby but I don't like the idea of becoming a dad... I don't know if I could really be a good male role model when I don't even know what a man really is. I don't identify as a man. I feel like just me. Day to day I have qualities people would call androgynous/down right effeminate. I am not a normal man. I buy much of my accessories and clothing from the woman's department. Also during puberty I grew breasts really small ones. It happens to a lot of guys. But I was sad when I lost them. I am stereotypically more feminine than my gf I tend to like more androgynous or even butch girls sometimes people think we're a lesbian couple. I feel like my gender identity is coming up more now than ever because of us starting a family.

Anyhow is this just because I never was really familiar with males or am I transgender of some type?

Also Idk if this is odd but I always would say things that applied to females to describe myself.