Hey everyone,

I am in a sticky situation with work at the moment, would really appreciate some ideas on what people think the best option for me would be!

I started a new job 3 weeks ago along with doing full time uni, its 5 nights a week, night work till 12:30am, its mail sorting, quite physical work on machines and also hand sorting and data entry.

I should have known, I took the job too quick without thinking, and now I cant cope.

Pretty much from the first week I have been a wreck, I haven't been able to sleep, been extremely anxious to the point of working myself up so much my mum had to come to my house to settle me down and send me off to work. I am just not coping. To be honest I can't even pin point what I am actually so worked up about, but I am assuming it is the job... I am so nervous to go, the thought of 5 nights a week is so daunting and then all my uni work on top just freaks me out. Every day before work I am anxious, nervous, angry, sad.. I have cried pretty much every night before going into work.

now to the actual problem hehe... I am on trial for 3 months, then they have the choice to offer me permanent position. I am quite sure they will as they need the employees and have been talking to me about things 6 months down the track etc.

But... we all had a big meeting the other day, and it was made very clear the this job is 5 nights, no excuses (there are others doin the same as me) Which brings me to my problem. I cannot do 5 nights, there is no way.. I am not even in exam time at uni when it will be the most stressful, I can say for sure right now, If I am still working 5 nights then, I will completely crack.

I have talked to heaps of people about this, some say wait till the end of the trial, then ask to drop my hours, which will put them in a position where they are more likely to compromise considering I have been trained etc.
Some have said, if this is eating you up inside and you really cant cope, you have to do something now.

I think, that after that meeting, now would be the perfect time to go see my boss, as if I do leave it, he is going to say 'why didnt u mention this when I said this job is a definate 5 nights?'

But... because I have only been there 3 weeks, I am not really an asset to them at the moment, they can get rid of me quite easily, so going to them now, may backfire on me.

I am soooo confused. I want to drop from 5 nights to 3 but am willing to work the 5 nights till the end of my trial, as I think that is fair, if I know that its only 5 nights for another 8 weeks, then I can do 3, I will be ok, I think.

But this anxiety is really really bad. I have just had 4 days off for easter, and have not been able to stop thinking about it, I still haven't been able to sleep, was up still at 4:30am this morning. Pretty much the whole day I am uptight and anxious, and have a few times, completely freaked out about life in general, about how nothing is right, I am hopeless, cant do anything... my heart races and I just completely freak out.

I should mention here, I have previously suffered with generalised anxiety a year ago, but before this was pretty much back to normal, until now... its back, and worse.

My family has been so weird about it, my dad is great and has said to me, remember its just a job, you dont have to do it, if it causes u stress, its not meant to be, just have a talk with them, if they cant offer you the hours u can cope with, then leave.

My mum completely freaked out about me and the way I was acting (I was crying, shaking, panicking etc) But now she has kind of gone the other way and is saying to me, u can do this kelly, 5 nights is ok, think of the money etc etc, and that makes me really upset, like nothing ever happened??

To be honest, I dont even know if I can cope with 3 nights, but thats the best option I can think of, because I dont want to leave completely, it is a great job, but I just know I cant keep going on like this. I am back at work tomorrow night and I am soooo anxious about it now, and its like 20 hours away hehe.

So.... I know this is so long and probably so confusing.. .but I guess I just want to know what people think. Do I go to them now, explain how I feel, that I am struggling and think 3 nights would be all I can do... or wait and just try and cope till the end of the trail then say to them??

And, any tips on not completely freaking out before going to see my boss, I am SO nervous to go talk to him, he is nice, but I am just really shy and will feel like an idiot telling him I cant cope, and probably get really upset... as he did ask me before I started whether this was going to be too much...

And also, the anxiety... do you think its the job? or even if I get what I ask for, 3 nights am I still going to be the same... like is there something really wrong that I need to see someone about??

If anyone manages to get through it all, I would really appreciate some ideas!!

Thanks

Kel xxx