MP, I'm just reading this now, from experience, don't trust him and tell him it's over if he can't get it together ot refuses marital/family counseling, life is too short for this nonsense. Something similar caused me to totally melt down, volunteerily (sp?) sign in for treatment in psych ward (near fatal depression) for 10days. That's 7years ago and working along with therapist,psychiatrist, hubby and I. I apologize if what I said is out of line, or doesn't really relate to your situation.
Be sure to take good care of YOU, and of course the kids.
Seems when things are rocky with life, most men can't handle it and find a need to emotionally abandon family/marital matters for a piece of tail, rather it's verbal, or physical, when a man is sneaking things then it's a pretty good sign he is untrustworthy and that can also apply to woman who are cheaters. Grrrrrrrrrr!
Please take care and know you have many people that are very fond of you.

(((((((((( MP ))))))))))))