Yes, it is hard and can feel lonely, and yes PTS does change someone, they become more aware, not only of themselves, but of the way others are too. A lot of people are on auto pilot and don't realize it.

Yes, you are right, it is not unusual for a family to get used to living in "dysfunction" and developing "auto responses" to different situations where they end up playing the same role and that is the way they "learned to tie their shoes" in a way and it becomes so automatic in their subconscious minds, they just "react and behave" in certain ways and they are often just comfortable with it.

The truth is Mowtown each person really "is" alone in the way they react and behave, they just don't realize it, because their subconscious mind just gets used to it. That is why so many people get stressed with "change". One of the known big stresses in our lives is "changing homes" and also "changing jobs or retiring".

When we talked about PTSD in your other thread and I presented all that information? Well, what you experienced is a treatment that certain professionals just got used to following along with and how they were looking at you as a patient was not the way you should have been viewed. The information that I provided is not that old and it is taking time for this information to be learned and accepted by different individuals that looked at symptoms and got used to diagnosing those symptoms a certain way that was not really accurate.

You could see the difference and understand it much better and you did relate to it. You were so relieved to be able to read something that accurately describes "you", me too. However, there are many people who are still using "old information" and "old understanding and diagnosing" methods that as you know, was wrong for you and wrong for me and many others. Unfortunately, the acceptance and practice of this new information is not going to take place over night. Change and learning to understand change, takes time, and often more time than it should, and some people will refuse to change too. If a person develops a formula that works for them, they are less apt to want to change that formula, even if it is dysfunctional or wrong, if it works for that person they tend to keep doing and believing their way is the right way. Even societies adapt this way too. We look at other cultures in shock with different ways they actually accept "abuse and enslavement and atrocities", how can these societies accept this behavior? It seems insane and inhumane doesn't it, but it is "their culture" and "what they know and will defend" too.

Well it is hard to see things in a very different way, it is a "change" that came very unexpectedly too. However, as you heal and make "gains" on it, you will learn to gradually realize this change was never about your unworthiness then or now, you now have a chance to learn "more" and in more positive ways, however, it does take a lot of time and patience to develop ways to see dysfunction and not over react to it in the now.

You have been very proactive though Mowtown, you have taken on new hobbies and activities that are "productive" and also allow you to learn new things with your new sense of awareness and healing too. There will be times when these "old" injuries come in to question, but it is important to look at them for just injuries as they are, that you are healing and growing, and you are not crazy, you are just healing and yes, others will not understand it because they have no experience with it, just as they would not really understand any other injury as they would had they experienced it first hand.