Hi Cherryl,
That sounds very much like something I get where I just feel utterly flat , like I can't react to things and there's just nothing inside. To be honest the only thing that's really helped has been when I do Muay Thai really pushing myself in the sparring or on the heavy bags so I do feel but I worry that this is skirting a bit close to the same reasons why people self injure.
I hope you find something healthy that works for you x

Barbara