I got lucky. Mine is just passive and attentive. Of course he is, otherwise all hell breaks loose... aaaahaha jk Sort of.

My husband is a pathological liar due to GAD and fear of disappointing a loved one. We definitely have our fights. Being BPD with major trust issues versus the anxiety driven lying routine.... not the best combo. Usually its me in a furious rage with him affecting innocence denying my accusations to the bitter end. Sometimes we never find out if what I thought was true, or not. I would love a lie detector. I don't know what would happen if he was BPD... the good is needing each other, but then the bad would be who's taking care of who here? Hehe. Because of our problems/strengths I think we love each other on a level that two BPD might, or need each other I mean.

Tell her... write out what you want to say first so you know it in your heart and mind. And help her too... if you can. I have no experience with heroin addiction, by my partner is an abuser so I know how impossible it is to try to help someone help themselves when it comes to drugs.