I attend a mental health charity centre on most weekdays and have started to volunteer there. I really love being there amongst other service users and a small team of really dedicated staff.

I have become very attached to one support worker who is also a psychotherapist. She has helped me hugely and I really feel a lot of love for her. Transference BS has been a pattern through my life and I'm not even sure what this is, possibly maternal transference? I want to make her proud of me, protect her, hug her and be important to her.

I'm aware that I can have black and white thinking a lot of the time, but she is so lovely, kind of perfect really. She makes me laugh, calms me, teaches me important stuff that nobody else has and gives the best hugs. I would quite happily just sit next to her all day. I feel her energy when she walks in the room and feel really sad if I don't get to see her. I absolutely hate this feeling, because she has made it clear that she likes and cares about me, but doesn't love me.

BPD, ******* BPD. I don't want to feel this way. The manager of the centre has suggested I spend time with another support worker, but I've found avoidance doesn't work at all with me. Speaking of which, I'm meant to be going in tomorrow and I feel like hiding. I know this is inappropriate and slightly bizarre, but I can't shake this amazing / awful feeling when I'm with her.

She is extremely open to discussing my feelings, but there's only so many times I can sit in front of her or the manager and pour my tragic heart out to them. I want to work through it, but I've never been able to before, I just cut and run.

Anybody experienced this type of thing? How did you work through it? This really hurts and makes me feel like an idiot.