Quote:
Originally Posted by VenusHalley
Again... are you trying to justify your way that is not working?
Your problem seems to be as well the inability to accept the pain and work through it (but there is not other way, I am sorry to say). Your definition of what is superior is rather skewed and is hurting you. You are basically beating yourself down for feeling and struggling and draw black and white picture of your world. Not sure what you want from life... constant pleasure or nothing at all? How about setting your expections to something more realistic, accepting joy and struggle, fighting the bad and enjoying the good moments, without obsession about being "god-like" for feeling good?
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I would be able have this attitude if I believed that there was a God and afterlife. If I had this belief, I would realize that my desire to be a superior god-like being with all the pleasure in the world is something that would await me in heaven. And that would be the motivation for me to get through this life in order to earn something much greater than this life of pointless depression and struggles. But now that this belief has been taken away since I am now an atheist, the only thing that matters is having that promised afterlife I lost here on Earth just in the sense of having no depression and actually having a life of full enjoyment even though there will still be struggles in life that will hinder my pleasure (however, only for brief moments unlike my chronic depression which hinders my pleasure 24/7).
But since I have chronic depression, to me, this life is basically worthless now, now that it has no reward in the end for all your suffering but being dead from old age later on. I realize that making the best of your life despite any struggle in life is important. But the reward for all your struggles of being a god-like being with all the pleasure in the world in the afterlife is the only thing that matters to me. Without that, then making the best of your life despite your struggles is pointless. In that case, it would make no difference now whether I decide to die now or make the best of my life and eventually die in the end anyway. You are going to die in the end anyway and any positive message that you can come up with such as "At least I made the best of my life," even that message itself dies in the end with you. Even if someone were to be inspired by you deciding to live your life to the fullest despite your struggles, that message of inspiration would die with them in the end, too. And it also wouldn't matter to you anyway in the end if someone were to be inspired by you because even that feeling you had knowing that you were an inspiration to someone--that would also die in the end with you and be nothing in the end as well.