What I'm doing now in helping myself is exercising, taking medication and omega-3 supplements, and playing videogames for now. Me not caring about my struggles or anything through playing videogames is the best thing that will help me recover. Otherwise, if I pursue my dream of being a composer, that would make me feel worse right now.

But if I do fully recover from this depression, then I will pursue my dream of being a composer and laugh in the face of and feel empowered and superior to life itself and its struggles of depression and such. I assume you were under the assumption that I was instead laughing in the face of and feeling empowered and superior to people who have problems and such. This is not the case. It is life itself and its struggles and this life wanting to dictate who I am and how I feel through its struggles that I would be laughing in the face of and feeling superior to. I wish nothing in life to dictate how I feel and make me change who I am. I wish to dictate how I feel and who I want to be. Again, to me, struggles of depression and such are inferior concepts of life and I wish to rebel against them and bring myself power that I want and not something these struggles and inferior concepts of life want.