dude for some reason i can't get myself to care.
I feel like i dont care about anything anymore and i dont do anything.. and im just so useless.

i cant deal with it.

The other night I came home from work and started feeling extremely anxious.. for no reason.. i got angry and sad, out of nowhere..
my brother didnt do something he said he would do for me, and i got really upset and overreacted.

so i went in my room to cry and stretch out because it helps me relax.. but all of the sudden, i got really scared and i had to get up to run and turn the light on..
i was crying for no reason, upset, and really frustrated with how i was feeling..
there is no reason for me to feel that way.

the only good thing that came out of that is that my parents are finally starting to take me seriously about this. They seemed to kinda care, which was new.

i dont have an appointment wit a doctor till may..
i feel like i'm not gonna make it.

i dont care.
i'm supposed to meet a friend right now somewhere.. she's calling and calling and all i can do is stare at the phone.
i know she needs me, but i cant make myself care.
Im going out, looking like hell because i cant even go in the shower..
and i dont care..

i'm going nowhere,.