I've been with my boyfriend for a little over 6 months now, and I've become highly dependant on him. He goes to school with me, but we're in different grades so no same classes. He works 1-2 times a week maybe and has track everyday afterschool so we would only see eachother on days we have off.

He is a normal boy, has wonderful grades, got accepted to many colleges but is still deciding (he has 1 more year of highschool left after this year), is involved with track, has friends, no mental problems or anything.

Then there's me, I go to school, have ADD, can't remember squat, was an amazing softball player but quit when I had to get finger surgery last year, low self esteem, dependant on my boyfriend, and just lost my grandmother 2 weeks ago, which brings everything back down on me. I also just agreed to work for my mother at a medical office in our local hopsital doing paper work, but that just will stress me more but my family and I need the money.

We're so different but we're best of friends and I feel like I'm becoming to dependant on him. I get my moments of being so sad and I feel so bad about it. I keep screwing up and I just feel like such a bad person. I make him deal with everything I do, I'm becoming to dependant on him. I feel like he's my only thing to make me happy. I see a T, I go see her on Thursday, but I can't get into a doctor to prescribe me meds until July.

I wake up on days we have off and text him or call him asking what we're doing today and what he's doing. I feel like I need to know every second what we're going to do and everything. I trust him, I just feel like I need to know.

I'm just a bad person. I want to be perfect. I try so hard in my life but nothing I do is enough. I'm just sick and tired of everything.