Even if I were to pursue my dream of being a composer and gain years of knowledge and experience, if my depression never goes away fully, I would sacrifice everything and my musical talents and years of knowledge and experience in music by getting a lobotomy if it meant ridding of the depression and having my pleasure back (as a lobotomy is a brain procedure that takes away who you are, but is something that eases mental illnesses). That, or electric convulsive therapy. Otherwise, I would end my life. Therefore, it would be a waste anyway if I were to pursue my dream of becoming a composer and gain years of knowledge and experience because of the fact that if the depression never fully goes away, I would sacrifice these things in the end anyway. Therefore, for the sake of not pursuing my dream for nothing, I would wait for the depression to fully go away. As long as it still remains, I will never pursue my dream.