Thanks for your post. Over the last weekend...I have been going throught he motions. At first the shock wore off. The then it sunk in. I cried for hours and hours. I rolled up a pillow and put it against my face to muffle my yelling at screaming. I kept saying no...no..no..I can't deal with this. I can't handle this. I drank half a bottle of vodka then popped two half mg of ativan. I stayed on the phone with my psych nurse who wanted me to go to the ER. "Absolute not" I saie. "I work there!" She stayed with me till the ativan kicked (or the alcohol) whichever it was. Throughout the weekend, my feelings when from disbelief to resignation to acceptance. I have stopped drinking. Cold Turkey. And this is not easy for one with the highest alcohol tolerance in the twon. But I am a type a personality. when I set my mind to something. I get it done. Alcohol will be my new project. I am ready for a fight with this disease- Bring it on.