my name's Deanna...

I am glad and grateful to be here, I am struggling with a lot right now, but mostly with my finances. I don't assume anyone is reading this, but I suppose the objective is to vent anyhow. . .

I teach yoga.

. . . the computer I am using is slightly broken, and makes using it frustrating. . .

teaching yoga is very hard for me, but it's my trade so i am having to make it work anyway. . .

i struggle with general self defeat, anger, lowliness . . . my faith, etc.

i lost a friend i cared very very much about, his name is chris. . .
i am stuggling with that a lot, i love him very much and hurt him, and although i know he's forgiven me, i still feel much remorse.
i miss him very much, and am praying for god to bring us back together. . . life has been very difficult without the support of him, and so many other friends and family. . .

i am so grateful to utilize this forum, thank you for any readers. . . i guess to even be heard is a help. . .
hah

i have so much to do and struggle with energy. . . i get so low. . . and fatigued . . .

today i went to teach yoga at the park where i have commited to teach every sunday at noon, and there was a young man thirty thirty one he didn't even know how old he was! he reveiled to me he had schizophrenia and that he was very mental and i tried to help him with yoga. . .

he was very out of it and i talked with him for at least an hour, and walked away feeling very hopeful that he will find yoga to work for him, and he'll get better. . .

who knows. ..
i am struggling terribly with my faith, in anything. . . i just want to learn actually i want to learn as much as i can so i can better help myself and others. . .

i don't know why it's taken me so long to find one of these online support groups it's not like i didn't know they weren't out there, i guess i just didn't put much thought into it. . .

i feel rather very pathetic right now. .. i hide from my own feelings most all the time, they have done a lot of bad for me in the past. . . a lot. . .
ive made a whole lot of terrible choices in my life . . and so now i sort of try to ignore my feelings, my true feelings that is. . .
i don't know i suppose theres only up to go from here. . .
feeling optimistic. . . .