feeling rather lonely . . .

i dont know where to begin really . .
i feel sort of blahzay

i'd like to be earning money right now teaching yoga. . . but can't fin any students
or i'd like to be with the person i'm in love with, if only he felt the same way about me. . .

i suppose i feel sort of sad. . .

i wish i felt better, it's hard to shake this lonliness. . . i live in an area where it's very suburb and very family oriented. . . in fact i live with a married couple and theyre always home they're retired

i feel so alone with them, b c they are so married. . .
lol

ah i wish i were married to my ex chris, but he doesn't seem to feel the same way and i'm heartbroken still ved and healthy so i'm working towards that its just hard

i wish i could have chris back.

i met chris about a year ago, and saw fireworks, for me it was love at first sight. . we began seeing each other and i sort of fell in love. . . he for one is gorgeous. .. absolutely gorgeous
hes so smart and so charming, and he's a dancer, he possesses al of the traits i wish i had. . .

i fell so hard for him. . . and dreamed of a life together with him . .

i sort of knew on our first date he was the man i wanted to marry and spend the rest of my life with. .

he is sixteen years older than me and feels far more indifference towards me than him and i understand why but i wish he didn't feel so indifferent towards me. . .

it's really hard loving someone who won't love you back. . .

i've done everything i can to express to him my love. . . i've communicated my love, given to excess. . .
i've prayed my heart out about it. . .
i want so badly to be married already. . and to become a mother and a wife. . .

but i'm not even finished with school yet,

i wish he would just accept and love me for me, for everything i am and

like i do for him, i love for all that he is, and accept him. . .

it's so unfair. . .

i'm frustrated here at home. .. i would like to cook more and i can't bc the woman i live with is a control freak and freaks out over the kithen. . .

i feel stuck. . .

i am hurting. . . and trying to stay positive and optimistic. . . i miss my family and friends and i miss feeling loved. . .

i simply don't feel loved, and haven't in a very very very long time as sad as that sounds tis true. . .

i simply don't remember even the last time i felt truly loved. . .

i dont understand why it's so difficult for people to love me . . .i'm really a great person, i am

i love me. . .

thanks for listening