Lute20, I'm a straight man. My father was a closeted cross-dresser, among other things. Very abusive towards me, always ridiculed me and said that I wasn't masculine enough - it was, of course, pure projection on his part. He was a horrible, nasty brute. I can only speculate about what made him that way - he was very messed up, I do not honestly know if gender identity or sexual orientation was part of the mix or not, I always felt he was probably the victim of sexual abuse by his mother - she was weird, they had a very, very strange dynamic together that seemed very inappropriate to me.

So, I lacked for a male role model. And, when I sit and really think about things, I come to the conclusion that ... it wasn't the lack of a MALE figure that was the problem, it was the lack of a loving, supportive PARENT figure that was the problem. He was little more to me than a tyrant, bully, and a figure who brought me nothing but grief and shame and despair when I had done nothing wrong and did not deserve to be treated like that.

You sound so worried about not being masculine enough, especially if your child is a boy. Forget about that -- kids grow up in all kinds of households these days. Lesbian couples raise boys and girls, and there isn't a man in the house. Gay men who raise kids may or may not be "masculine" by society's standards. WHO CARES? Be yourself, love your child, do what you know how to do and are comfortable doing. You will be a far better role model just being yourself, and teaching your child through that example the lesson that we are all made perfectly, just the way we are, than if you try to become someone you aren't. If you aren't comfortable doing some certain activity with your son ... or daughter ... well, you wouldn't be the first person in history who sucks at softball or soccer or whatever ... gay/straight, trans/cis has nada to do with that, it's just life ... if you can't do a particular thing, maybe your girlfriend can, or a relative, friend, or parent of your child's friend, or whoever.

Be yourself, don't sweat it or overthink it, treat the kid well, teach him or her your values and beliefs and to be a good person, and that is ALL you need to do to be a successful parent.