Thank you, Shadow dove. I never had kids and never planned to get married. I was financially independent and all that jazz, but the mental illness has put me on disability. I really do enjoy having a partner, but I know I'm too quick to put up with his crap. I feel like I can be a downer with my mood swings and in the past I was really reckless with money and drugs. I don't feel like a servant because I know on my ssdi alone I couldn't make ends meet. I spent all my younger years fooling around and partying so I don't feel like I missed out on anything. It's nice for me to just have someone to cook dinner for and watch a movie. It gives me a sense of normalcy. Of course, that's on nights when he's not drinking wine. Those nights I usually read or go online.