Thank you, it is interesting to hear the situation from the other side. I would hate to think that I leave her feeling drained.

Also interesting that you have BPD too. I never form these sorts of attachments to people I am helping, just women who are supporting or helping me. Just wish I hadn't said anything and just squished it down because I feel she is putting up defences and that hurts. I also don't want to be having tantrums about it. Practicing mindfulness and trying my best not to self harm, but the disgust I feel for myself being 'weird' (in my eyes) gives me powerful and impulsive urges. This situation is difficult enough, without the fact that I have started volunteering and I'm there a lot and feel apologetic for even being in the building.

Today I was walking through the town centre at lunch and I suddenly realised she was walking a few paces in front of me and I quickly turned around and went in the other direction. Felt so embarrassed for even being there. Do you think I should just keep going and see what happens? Can't tell you how much I want to stay at home and not leave.