I find the words irrational and immature to be judgmental. I think if it were me, I might have said something along the lines of "Maybe you could think of things like this..." and then present your viewpoint.

My thoughts are different. Not seeing a light at the end of the tunnel is common for someone who is depressed. In addition, I don't believe in those common clichés - "You'll find someone better", "You're better off without him", "It just wasn't meant to be", etc. Just because people say that, to instill hope, it doesn't make it true. People want to believe those things, like they want to believe in God, because it makes coping with reality and pain easier.

Also, I fully believe he DOES owe me something. When you say you care about someone, when you say you love them, when you lead them to believe you have a future, say you'll be their friend, you don't get just to say one day, without barely an explanation, "Oops, sorry, my mistake." If you make a mess, you clean it up. There is such a thing as accountability and responsibility. If someone counted on me, I wouldn't just abandon them. We don't live in a vacuum. Our actions and inactions have an impact on others.

You make it seem like its OK for him just to make us exes one day and to totally negate everything else... to whirl through my life like a tornado and just walk away with no concern about my wellbeing. Its not. And on top of that, I'm supposed to be respectful of his feelings. I have changed my behavior significantly. As I mentioned, I no longer ask him questions about our relationship, talk to him about anything serious or emotional, make him feel bad in any way, etc. I HAVE considered and respected his feelings... all but the complete no contact. Has he considered mine? Evidently not. And I hear you all saying he shouldn't have to.

Personally, I think the no contact thing when you dump someone is not mature (I understand it for the dumpee) and an easy escape from having to deal with difficult conversations and feelings. There are some psychologists who agree with me, too.

If anything, what you all have probably made me realize indirectly is that he is an uncaring, unempathetic, irresponsible, selfish jerk to completely abandon me when he knows what he did/said and what I struggle with. THAT may be a reason not to pursue a friendship with him...