i keep having flashbacks. because i am remembering everything from my childhood.

i'm sorry if this is too much information, but i'm really confused.

is it normal when you are giving your child a bath for the mum to put her finger right inside? i worry about whether this is normal. i really dont know. as far as i know i lost my virginity on a bike when i was 3. this is what i've been told. but i remember my mum doing this to me when i was about 8. i never did this to my kids, just told them how to be clean.
these little things are bothering me. am i right to be worried?

should you do this when bathing an eight year old who should be bathing herself? is it me?

i hope you're not disgusted with me. i dont know what is normal any more.

maybe just a big fuss over nothing. the pdoc who abused me was also a hypnotist. far fetched as it sounds he used to put my mum 'under his spell' and come to my room.

i wonder whether he asked her to do things to me on purpose.

am i being paranoid or stupid? i need to talk about this. i never told anyone this before.

please dont think any less of me. i just need to know.

jin