RTerroni, what are the issues you are dealing with that have led you to seek out therapy? What are you hoping to achieve through therapy? What are your goals?

Without knowing the answers to these questions, I think it's difficult to know how important a T's boundaries are going to be in your treatment.

I've followed (and posted) on all of your threads about T-client boundaries and intimate gatherings, but I can't recall you discussing the issues that you are seeking treatment for (I may have forgotten). As you know, the chance of you running into your T at this kind of gathering is so remote that it's about as likely getting hit by lightening or winning the lottery. Therefore, the issue isn't REALLY about how your T would respond in that scenario. Your extreme focus on boundaries must be about something deeper. The reason that you feel compelled to hash this out with each new therapist you meet-- even though you know it's an unlikely scenario and you know it's going to cause disagreement and tension even before you've begun a relationship with your T-- speaks to something deeper. Do you struggle with boundaries in your every day life, and that is what you're act with your Ts? Or do you feel excluded in your every day life, and you're looking to T as a way to feel connected? What do boundaries represent to you, and how far back does it go? Or, is it less about the boundaries and more about an obsession with "being right" or proving your former T wrong? Do you struggle with processing conflict in RL relationships? Do you practice black and white thinking, and have difficulty accepting that others hold different opinions than do? Or, is there a RL issue that you're facing, and are you using your over-emphasis on boundaries as a way to avoid dealing with it?

I think your answers to the following questions will tell a lot about what you need from a therapist. For instance, if your over-emphasis on boundaries is really a symptom of struggling with boundaries in RL or of being unable to tolerate disagreement in relationships or having to always be "right"-- then it might actually be good for you to work with a T who can help explore those issues with you by modeling that it is okay to have different opinions and how to negotiate healthy boundaries while still maintaining a positive relationship. Since, in RL, we have to accept other people's boundaries-- whether we like them or not-- it may actually be a more useful learning experience to negotiate the boundaries of your relationship with T rather than to go on a (most likely unsuccessful) quest to find a T who would be willing to participate in intimate gatherings with you. In relationships, we can't simply get what we want all the time or be "right" all the time-- we always have to take into account the other person's boundaries, feelings, needs, etc. From reading your postings about boundaries and Ts, it seems as though you might be struggling to understand things from the therapist's perspective-- i.e. why it would feel so uncomfortable and unprofessional for her to be in those spaces with you (or any client). If you do struggling with putting yourself in someone else's shoes and understanding perspectives other than your own, this would be something that a more boundaried therapist would be able to help you with. I'm by no means suggesting that you choose a particularly uptight or blank-slate therapist. Rather, I'm suggesting that-- if you feel all the therapists that you meet are too boundaried because they won't disclose very personal details, won't participate in intimate gatherings with clients (should they run into them), etc-- that, perhaps, the issue isn't really about the therapist's boundaries. Perhaps the issue lies in WHY you are so focused on boundaries. The way you write about them, your Ts boundaries seem to be the main issue you are interested in with respect to therapy-- but what about the reason you are seeking therapy? Perhaps it would be helpful to start there Ii.e. your symptoms, your goals, etc) and work out from that point. Choose a therapist who seems like they really know about and have experience treating those issues or helping clients achieve those goals. Of course, you want a T who isn't going to "freak out" about your boundary issues and call in their supervisor unnecessarily-- but most qualified therapists won't do that. (I know your previous T did, but most won't). So, provided a new T feels comfortable discussing boundaries with you and talking about the issues that arise as a result, do they necessarily have to agree with you about your views on T-client boundaries? Would it be okay if you had a therapist who felt differently than you do about boundaries, but was still respectful of your views?