I can feel your pain through your post. I myself only learned about 'transference' this past year with my T. I know how hard this all is to comprehend and try and make sense of.

From the advice I've been given on here, I can tell you that you should tell 'Judy' what you've typed in this post. I understand your why you'd be hesitant, I am similar to you in that just last session I started being more direct with my T about this very issue. I've been with him over a year.

I call it attachment with him because 'transference' seems to trivialize my feelings...but that is my issue I hate labels

I'll bet if you can tell her, an amazing session will take place!