It sounds like you feel or believe that if you lose a debate with a friend or acquaintance, you also lose the old fight with your mother; if you win a debate, you prove your mother wrong. Perhaps that is why it felt to that gentleman that you were arguing for arguing's sake - you have a hidden agenda of which he was completely unaware. You are are of it only in that it drives you to win the argument. What you say about being logical - i relate to myself, i did so often myself, for much the same reason. I am sure you are very smart - but for me it was a relief the day i found there were some women at my job who i could trust to run a meeting and ask the same questions that i would ask - then i could sit back and relax. We still had to make sure others in the meeting understood what we wanted, but i did not have to lead. I could appreciate them, i didnt have to fight them.