Hello perfectly_me (nice name!), welcome! I too feel helpless and hopeless sometimes... It's okay to feel that way, because it's only your mind warning you. I get upset sometimes when people tell me to "fake it 'till you make it!" because although it may be a fine rule for people for some, it can also mean your feelings aren't important and should be ignored, which isn't true. It sounds like you've made good choices in seeing a therapist. That must have taken a lot of strength. If you're feeling numb, then chances are your feelings are overloaded, as I like to call it. The forums here are a great place to talk about problems you may not otherwise, and the people here are happy to listen.