I totally understand this feeling, so big hugs
I know how hard it can be to try and keep everyone happy, and feeling like a failure when you can't always do that. It's important to remember that it is OK to put yourself first, even if it may not keep everyone happy. Is there anyone who knows about how you are feeling and can stop you just hiding away in bed? Every time I do this, I have instructed everyone that no matter how much I protest, I am to be dragged out of bed and given a kick up the ***. Even if it's just to go in the garden or for a walk, or to sit and watch the TV a distraction always helps me. Are you on any medication or seeing anyone to get help? You don't have to feel like this, and it's so important to get the support you need. Keep your chin up sweetheart, J x