So I had appointment today. I blew up at him for not listening (again). Finally he asked about my childhood, youth and present instead of blaiming everything at my depression at the moment.

He puts me to psychotherapy and will not see me anymore 'cos is enable to progress my issues.

So in a way this meeting was a good one. I think he finally listened to what i have to say.

For now i would have to search psychotherapist and try if i can work with him/her. For all i know its going to be rough ride. I'm getting better and starding to see things in a way i saw them before.. I dont need therapy- like. I'm all good. But in a way, i cant shake this period of my back and this nacking feeling, that everything is not good.

Maybe it took too long for him to realize that is not "just" dpression, i dont know. Maybe i think too much?

All my friends and family are happy i went. And think that i really really need help. Seems waste of time that i lost 3 almost 4 months with arguying that is there something more then depression.. and coulnd't get heard.

Anyway.. i seem to be working my way on the time i was before this crashdown.

Called my "sort of bf " and got to be the queen for a moment there again, before we had a argument. And then I was lowest of lows. Dont even know why i called. Just neede to be intouch with him.

Maybe this is enough for today.