I however think that depression may not be the biggest issues of the OP and all the modernest pills and ketamine will help with the real issue. Cannot pinpoint what it is exactly, but there is problem with the thinking patterns (for lack of better term)... Could be existential crisis. Could be some trauma issues, anxiety... really anything... who knows.

Stuff that should be explored in therapy. And be open minded. Excercise, pills, supplements... they help with the classic symptoms. Not with "pleasure makes me god-like and if I can't have it all the time, I am gonna give up my dreams". Not with unrealistic expections of life and of themselves... That seems dangerous, self-destructive and a highway to hell.

I disagree with zinco about psychiatric field making so much progress. But I believe in human strenght, resilience, power to overcome. Something that has been her all along and has been proved through centuries.

And if OP wants mindless hedonism... than better do it mindlessly. Make a Hagen Dazs Whiskey coctail. Self-love and wild fantasies. Hell... go to Central/Eastern Europe, enjoy the cheap booze and loose chicks, go to all you can eat sushi bar or chinese buffet... whatever you like. Do it for enjoying it and try not thinking about the "it makes me god-like". Think "this is great!". Enjoy every moment and switch of your brain.